Monday, January 31, 2011

Science Project Week

Two kids had Science Projects due this week. Which means that I had two science Projects due this week. We all know when a teacher sends home a "Project" that what they really mean is, "Here's a test of your abilities as a Parent. You will be graded and then made to feel guilty based on that grade".

If my "Project gets an 'A', I can feel guilty about doing the Project FOR my child, thereby depriving him or her of valuble learning opportunities. If they get a 'B' I'm obviously not that smart AND I've deprived them of an opportunity to be mediocre. A 'C' means not only am I not the brightest bulb in the box, but I didn't find out about the project until the night before. A 'D' means I did not even know there WAS a Project due, and when I did discover the crumpled assignment stuffed into my child's laundry as I was frantically washing clothes for the following day, I had no idea what the teacher was talking about. An 'F' means I sent a cup of dirt and hid in my room with Pepsi and Chocolate until the child advanced to the next grade level.

I have done Bug Collections at midnight, Science Projects, Sewing Projects, Cooking Projects, Book Reports, News Reports. My diorama skills are legendary. I have diorama-ed every ecosystem on Earth, every food chain, every time period, most of outer space and filled enough posterboard to wallpaper a large house. AND I know most of you have been there.

I can't wait to see how we did:)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Makeover night

So, last night, my girls and I went to a 'makeover' party with a woman selling a popular brand of skin care/makeup (I'm not going to mention it was Mary Kay). I wasn't too excited about the whole thing, I had my name given to her by a 'friend' who actually is not my friend exactly, but someone I do daycare for. I may not have a business degree, but I know the difference between a business acquaintance and a friend. Anyway, I'm thinking I have a pretty good defense against salespeople and how it might be fun to see some of the new trends in makeup. Also, sometimes it's good to have a person-not-their-mom tell your girls how to wear makeup appropriately:)

We went, and it started fine. The woman was friendly and funny. She's been in the business for a long time and knows the product well. BUT. Right away, she makes an error, in my opinion. I wanted my girls, especially the two who wear makeup, to sit closest to her so they would feel pampered and have her attention. When I made the appointment on the phone, I had mentioned how I would appreciate her giving them some good makeup advice. But she had set up so that I was closest. Well, I am the one with the money, so I could see her point, but  Jessica (12 years old) was farthest away and not by me, which I was irritated about.

THEN, she starts in on my age. Now, I'm 40, but I don't need it mentioned every 5 minutes for an hour and a half. And she couldn't stop bringing up Rachel's acne. Now tell me what teen ager isn't sensitive about her face? So, for an hour and a half, she went on and on and on about my age and Rachel's acne and how to fix them both.

Finally, we went home. Melinda (17) cried, because she had felt ignored and passed over. She is a beautiful girl and has thankfully not had any acne, but wears makeup and had been looking forward to a makeover. Jessica cried, because she had been looking forward to a makeup lesson and instead had been told she's too young to wear any. Rachel (14) cried because she has acne and had to discuss it for an hour and a half. I should have cried, I mean, who likes to be told their skin is going downhill in a fast car?

Now, you are maybe thinking I should have said something. I feel like I did say, and kept saying things all evening to redirect her, but she was a go-er. And everyone knows I talk a lot, so if there's someone I can't talk under the table, that person is a TALKER. There was basically no stopping her. So, live and learn. I told the girls to ignore her. They are beautiful and we don't need her to tell us how old we are or what's wrong with us.

 We are going try some of the acne stuff MK puts out. I do like their stuff, just not this particular salesperson. I love Oil of Olay, and will probably have to go buy some kind of anti-aging-facial age-reversal goop to shore up my fallen face and ego, but other than that....

I had this weird dream...about a house that kept falling down and I kept tryin to brace it with crazy household items...whatever could it mean?

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

My Neighborhood

In my neighborhood, you have to make sure you lock your house up. And never leave your car unlocked. And never, never leave your purse unattended. Seriously. It's not that I live in a bad neighborhood.  Let me explain...

*A few years ago, on a Sunday afternoon, I had gone to the hospital nine months pregnant to 'get checked'. Once there, it was determined that I could stay and have a baby. Our children at home had been given their lunch and were in the care of my responsible (then  12 yr old) son and his 10 yr old sister. A lovely neighbor heard from a friend that we had gone to the hospital and headed over to the house to make sure everything was ok. My kids are not supposed to open doors to anyone while we are gone, but this kind lady had no problems, as the door was unlocked. She went in, cleaned the kitchen and folded multiple baskets of clean laundry.

*A few years later, while I was having yet another baby, a team of industrious and Christlike women coerced the garage code out of a dear friend, let themselves in and cleaned the ENTIRE house.

*When we leave our van unlocked, we don't come back to find the stereo missing....we find the van loaded with garden produce and bags of gently used clothing.

*When I leave my purse unattended, as was the case a few weeks ago, IN CHURCH, I came back to find $20 tucked in my wallet.

*Gifts have been left, monies tucked, groceries produced.

The latest of these 'heavenly-magic-miracles' has left me speechless. It's true TGH is out of work, and we have 7 children. It's true that we are never in what people would call a stable financial situation. But I just looked in my previously empty wallet and found generosity that astounds me.

I am the exact and utter opposite of robbed. We are watched over, spoiled, and cared for in so many ways.

I need a new scripture for this one....Psalms 23:5-6

5 Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

6 Surely agoodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

Thank you. I hope I live my life in such a way as to someday deserve and return to others the blessings that spill over the edge of my cup.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011


I have been baking and baking. . . . and baking for the past few weeks. Everytime I turn around there is a reason for baking something. First, I had little 6's first friend birthday party. So I made princess cupcakes. Then, little 7's school had a bake sale. A very successful bake sale. So successful, in fact, that they ran out of muffins and sent an emergency email to parents asking us to bake more muffins. How could I say no? So I made a bunch of muffins.
Then we ran out of fish crackers and snack time became a problem, so I made cookies.
The next day, I realized that little 6's actual birthday was coming up and she had requested an Ariel cake. Baking again. And decorating.
Then on Sunday we had another cookie craving. Yes, we ate them all, but my love of cookies goes without saying, so I made more.
Yesterday I remembered that little 6 was also having a kindergarten bake sale and I had signed up. Awhile ago. Before all the other baking. So, I thought I would make cookies. I made a huge double batch of white chocolate, cranberry. They tasted delicious, but did not look delicious. In fact, they did not look "sale worthy" to me. So, last night I baked again. If you can call rice krispy treats baking.
And today, even though we are still munching on leftover cake, our cookie jar is overflowing, and there are even a few cupcakes still drifting around, I happen to know that my dear husband would like some of those rice krispy treats that I sent to school for himself. So, if you want me, I'll be in the kitchen. Baking.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Cheese and Scriptures

I have two things on my mind today, cheese and scripture. They are not related, except that in the course of a day as a mom, they tend to actually be in my mind together frequently. First, the cheese. My 4 year old is very bugged with me today, because I have no cheese in the house. I knew we were low, but somehow forgot yesterday when I was at the store (for the 40th time) (I'm exaggerating, I was only there 3 times...4 at the most). So, today, when he went through the fridge looking for a cheese stick, there were none. He sighed, opened the pantry and saw tortilla chips. "Cheese?" he asks me. What he wants is this canned stuff called Que Bueno that comes in a #10 can from Costco and is also known as 'Nacho Cheese'. Well, we're out of that too. He's bugged with me. If I were a different person, I would have gone to the store today, but our family doesn't shop on Sundays. So here we are, cheeseless. No sticks. No bricks. No sauces. No slices. No cans, bags, boxes, or any other kind of package cheese could potentially come in, either as an actual  cheese or cheese product. The 4 yr old is sitting at the table, eating plain tortilla chips and giving me death looks.
As for the scripture, my dear friend Leslie was empathizing with me over the very recent job lay-off of TGH. (you may all feel sorry for me now) when she mentioned the scriptural account of Job. ( that i think about it, we were talking about jobs and Job) She said,"The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord."(more or less, Job 1:21) She said it in such a funny way as to make me laugh,which was just what i needed. Both emotionally and scripturally. Which reminded me of my good friend Melody, who always says when something breaks and has got me saying it too: "Lay up not for yourself treasures on earth where moth and dust doth corrupt (and where children break your wedding gifts) and thieves break in and steal...."(Matthew 6:19-21) So, my point is, that God appears to be well acquainted with the human condition and addressed these conditions in the scriptures. Which makes me think, that if I really went looking, I might be able to find a verse or two about cheese...or how to deal with a 4yr old death look.

p.s. check out