How you know...

How you know when to keep your child(ren) home sick from school:

1. When your 12 yr old coughs, it sounds like a 50 yr old male smoker on a Harley.
2. When your 5 yr old coughs, you feel like he should balance a ball on his nose next.
3. When the 11 yr old walks, she bounces off the walls like a pinball machine.
4. When the words "flourescent" and "green" don't do the boogers justice.
5. When you are a white family...but your kids are green.
6. You can't remember if your daughter had freckles...because you don't see them.
7. You notice they might have a temperature...the marshmallows in their cereal are toasted.

How to know when to send your child(ren) BACK to school:

1. You send the girls to bed and find them at midnight styling each other's hair.
2. Your son is bungee jumping off his bunk bed.
3. The kids are arguing about whether or not Sponge Bob is funnier than Tom and Jerry.
4. Your daughter is jumping up and down in front of you singing, "This is like summer vacation!"
5. You are hiding in your room so they will stop asking if you think their jokes are funny.
6. Your son wants to know how babies are made.
7. You start to wonder WHY babies are made.