My Baby!

My baby is graduating from high school! He thinks he's going to turn 18 and go off to college and have his own life or something...weird. Doesn't he know I'M the MOM. I make the decisions around here! Here's a list of rules I've decided on:

1. No body hair. No shaving.For girls or boys. I have a hard time reconciling babies and body hair.
2. My name is Mommy. Not Dude, Hey you, Shorty, Ma or Man.
3. No getting bigger than me. True I'm short, but it's a rule.
4. No graduating, commencing, or anything that requires maturing.
5. Everyone will wear oshkosh overalls, and have bandaids on their knees. Girls will wear pony tails with ribbons.
6. No driving yourself places.
7. No licenses, certificates, diplomas etc, see #4.
8. Everyone in bed at 8 with their SuperMan or Hello Kitty Jammies on.
9. No friends bigger, harrier or with better boobs than me.
10. Stop growing up so d*** fast!

Feel free to print these and pass them out to appropriate individuals. They won't listen, they never do, but we can try!