Alone in the Universe, sort of...

So today, I was working on my little farm on Facebook, and I realized my leg was jiggling. I really really needed to go the bathroom. (too much Diet Pepsi? hmmm...) Anyway, I decided to use the nearest one, which happened to be the kids bathroom. I hurried in and did what I came to do. Then, I looked around for toilet paper. The roll was empty, not even a square was left on the cardboard roll. Great! Now what? I yelled for one of the kids. Six of them were upstairs having their lunch, so I figured my chances were good. Not so. I screamed my head off, but to no avail. I was just about to pull up my pants (gross!) and go upstairs to change and yell at the kids close up, when the phone rang. It was my sister! I told her my problem, and she agreed to call my house to tell the kids to bring me some tp. She called THREE times! No one answered the phone. I finally answered the phone myself and gave her Freshman's cell phone number. She called, I called, but no one answered. I called Senior, no answer. So, I'm feeling very abandoned, and mad, mad, mad! All of a sudden, Senior comes waltzing down the hall past the bathroom, where I am perched, door open, on the pot. Double great! He glances in and says, casually, "Hey momma." Like this happens everyday. (which it DOES NOT) I say, "HELLO? GET ME PAPER!" He looks surprised and says, "Sure." Two minutes later, he's back with the paper. He actually stood there and minute and then asked for money!!! I said, "Go get my purse." He jogged off in search of cash and I was able to finish up and leave the bathroom. The whole thing took about 15 minutes, but felt much, much longer. If I had any dignity left, I would have lost it during that 15 minutes. Along with my modesty. Oh, wait...I lost that already, too. And now, I don't have any money. At least I still have my farm.