Wednesday, March 2, 2011


I am not a 'dog person'. I will definitely put up with other people's dogs, going so far as to pet the dog. I don't hate dogs. I just don't want any. Ever.

Yesterday, when the bus came to take Timothy to school, I opened the front door. That way the bus driver knows we know she's there and that we're going to school. As I led Timothy to the door, I smelled a 'smell'. He can't ride the bus if there's a 'smell' so I peeked into the back of his pants to confirm. He was resisting the check and tried to make a break for it.  Nicholas was standing in front of the kitchen door, and Tim and I had our backs to the front door, when Nicholas let out a blood-curdling shriek! He starting screaming in terror! I quickly looked him over and he's fine. No one is by him, he's standing there alone, obviously not hurt. I feel worried tho, and say, "Nick, what's wrong with you?" His arm raises and he points to a spot behind me. Ok, now i'm worried.

This happened very quickly, but I swear I thought, "What in the world could be BEHIND me?" So being the big brave girl that I am, I turned around to see what could possibly be the source of the abject terror of my 4 yr old.

It was a dog. A big, black hairy dog who's nose was suddenly in my crotch. Nick was screaming by now and I admit, I screamed too. It was a very Big Surprise to find a very Big Dog in my house with his nose pressed against me. I quickly recovered and grabbed the dog's collar (he had one, with tags, AND a telling length of rope he had evidently chewed through) and directed him out of the house. The dog did not want to be out of the house. He wanted to be in the house. He pretended to comply until we reached the end of the sidewalk when he bolted for the front door again. I dove for him (breaking a nail, I might add) but missed. I ran up the stairs to the door and grabbed the dog's trailing frayed rope just as he reached the tile entryway. Nick was still screaming his head off, Tim had taken this golden opportunity to eat cereal out the bag on the table and was making a huge mess, and the only daycare child in attendance thus far, a 12 month old little girl, was just standing there, open mouthed, not crying for the first time in 2 weeks.  I led the dog back out of the house and down the stairs. I gave him a stern talking to and a swat on the rear. He ran off up the road.

I jogged back into the house, changed Tim, and finally got him on the bus. The bus driver's mouth was open too....

About an hour later, my heart rate was back to normal.

Here's an interesting question: Where was Blair through all of this? Where was my Knight in Shining Armor while I was screaming, and Nick was screaming and a DOG was running through our house?

Asleep. In our bedroom. About 6 feet away. When the excitement had died down, he actually poked his head out of the door (not coming out because he wasn't dressed) and said, "Everything ok out here?"

Ummmm. Yeah.


Gingersnapped! said...

SEE??? THIS is why I don't blog regularly...nothing ever happens at my house! roflmao...Maren, you're just priceless!!

Jillian said...

Allow me a moment to cackle hideously...OK...I'm done.